The new American national anthem

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Dear Abby

Dear Abby,



I am a crack dealer in Beaumont, Texas,
who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of HIV virus. My parents live in Fort Worth. One of my
sisters lives in Pflugerville and is married to a transvestite. My father and
mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana. They are
financially dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Dallas. I have two
brothers: one is currently serving a life sentence at Huntsville for the murder of a teenage boy in
1994. My other brother is currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual
misconduct with his three children. I have recently become engaged to marry a
former prostitute who lives in Longview.
She is a part time 'working girl'.



All things considered, my problem is this. I love my
fiancée and look forward to bringing her
into the family. I certainly want to be totally open and honest with her.



Should I tell her about my cousin who supports
Barack Obama for President?



Signed,

Worried About My Reputation

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